In my last blog post I shared how intention, investment and accountability can change your life. And because I actually practice all the things I share with you here, I don’t mind letting you know that 2021 has been a big year for me. At the start of the year, I got very clear about what I wanted, and have invested in three very intensive group coaching programs. I’m super grateful for the growth and the accountability that has come my way, thanks to the fact that I was ready to stretch this year.
Anyhow, a little while back one of my coaches had the group do a reflective exercise. She asked us a stack of questions related to why we do what we do in the world. One of these questions went like this:
What would your deepest self love for your coaching clients to know about the challenges they’re currently facing?
As always happens when this particular coach gets us to free write in class, the words just flowed out of me and onto the page. (Trust me when I tell you that this doesn’t always happen when I sit down to write.)
When I re-read my notes the other day, I decided my thoughts weren’t helping anyone just sitting in my journal. So I’ve turned them into this post. And while I’ve polished them up a bit, I’ve tried not to over edit, so that you can get a feel for what came up for me in the moment xx
Five things my deepest self wants you to know about the challenges you’re facing
- The challenge will always seem bigger and harder before you start to tackle it. Whether your challenge is more confidence at work, a health goal or bringing a big dose of romance into your life, it will loom large while it remains in your head. And that’s why I coach my clients (and my corporate team for that matter) to only think about the first few baby steps of any challenge. We can all manage one more step. But we can easily psych ourselves out of the game if we look at our challenges like Everest.
- You’re more resourced than you think you are to face into your challenge. Just like we can tell ourselves that something is too big or too hard, we can also tell ourselves that we don’t have what it takes to reach our intended destination. But the reality is, everything you need is already within you. And you wouldn’t even be able to imagine your goal if it wasn’t in you to achieve it. Get quiet and tap into your intuition. It always knows what to do and when.
- Protective beliefs drive protective behaviours. But you can change them. You’ll hear me say this again and again. Our protective behaviours like procrastination, perfectionism, people-pleasing and polling are there to protect us from risk. If we believe that we’re at risk of experiencing things like failure, rejection, conflict and disappointment, our sophisticated protection mechanisms will naturally kick in. But, as the saying goes, knowledge is power. By paying attention to when your protective behaviours are triggered you can then dig into the protective beliefs. Very often, you’re like to find that the thing you’re afraid of isn’t as risky as it seems. And it’s from this place that you can start building evidence that you’re safe.
- There is rarely any evidence that you’re ‘too’ anything to overcome your challenge. While I’m on the topic of evidence, so I often women tell me that they’re too…. old, lazy, shy, financially strapped or fill in the gap… to deal with the thing that is challenging them. But when we dig into the evidence surrounding that, more often than not we can’t find anything. Our ‘too’ statements are just another way of protecting us from risk.
- Challenges create the environment for growth. And they tend to sit outside of our comfort zone. They ask us to stretch or even change to overcome them. Therefore, they demand growth. And if you’re someone like me who values learning and growth highly, it makes sense to reframe your challenges as opportunities to grow.
So, there you have it team. Five things my deepest self wanted you to know about the challenges you’re facing into. Did any of these five resonate with you? I’d love for you to let me know in the comments below.
And until next time – stay fabulous.
Photo Credit: Haute Stock Co