“Ha. Style. It’s just too hard. I gave up on all that a long time ago.”

Once upon a time, I was chatting with someone who shared exactly these words. 

She went on to express the fact that in her mind, style is frivolous and inconsequential.

As a Style CoachTM, I obviously take a different view, although I do admit to finding this sort of thinking rather fascinating.

Because for a great many people, style is completely inconsequential. For those individuals, style never, ever made it onto the radar. They are more than happy wearing whatever comes to hand. And that particular strategy impacts neither their self-image nor their confidence. 

But when I hear the words I gave up, or I’ve given up or any variation on that theme, my antenna goes up. Quickly.


Because the subtext is that – at an earlier point in time – style did matter. 

And it’s likely that, deep down, style still matters on some level for these women. It’s just that they’re choosing to ignore their feelings. And potentially allowing their confidence to be sapped in the process – because style and confidence are absolutely linked.

What’s more, giving up on style often means they have given up on other aspirations for their lives. Perhaps they’re stuck in a job they don’t love. Or maybe they are remaining in a relationship that has lost its spark. All because they don’t feel good enough to put themselves out into the world.

If you’re thinking that perhaps you have given up on style a little prematurely, here are some tips to help you get back in the game.

What to do if you’ve given up on style – and wish you hadn’t

Grab a journal and/or some space to think

Take a moment to delve into why you’ve given up on style. Was there a change in your lifestyle, circumstances or body weight that triggered you to start ignoring your style? Perhaps there were financial considerations? Or did it just get too boring or too hard? Working out when and why you gave up on style can help you understand if it was just a passing phase.

Also look at whether there any other areas of your life that are being impacted due to your current lack of interest in style. Challenge yourself here and really look at your life. Has your confidence taken a hit, or is there any area where you are playing small because you aren’t happy with how you present yourself to the world? Ask yourself whether anything could be different in your life if style did matter – it can give you the motivation to start playing with style again.

Tap into inspiration

We all have things that inspire us to be our best. For me, that thing is France and all things French. For others, that inspiration might come from art or reading or travel. Jump on Pinterest and save pictures of outfits that you love. Take what inspires you and add a sliver of it to your wardrobe. It will add a spring to your step for sure and slowly reintroduce you to thinking about style again.

Get playful with your current wardrobe

Look for different ways to wear the clothes you already have. Mix and match your favourite pieces. Belt that floaty dress. Throw that formal jacket over that casual top. Combine a couple of prints. Get creative and make the most of what you’ve got. Holding your approach to style lightly can help you to find it fun again.

Think laterally – maybe the original problem wasn’t with your clothing

Remember, your style is made up of many elements. Hair. Make-up. Accessories. Perhaps you need to tweak another element to get your style mojo back. A fresh hairstyle or a make-up lesson could change how you are feeling within an afternoon. And never underestimate the power of a new handbag or a killer pair of shoes.

Ask for help if you’ve given up on style

No one ever said that you have to do everything on your own. Whether you choose to chat to stylish girlfriend or invest in yourself by engaging a Style CoachTM simply exploring style with someone else could be the key to reinvigorating your own style.

Have you ever given up on style? What did you do to get back in the style game? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments section below.

And until next time – stay fabulous.

Warmest, Janelle.

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